A Family Circle 1 - A Very Convenient Marriage Read online

  Dinner was reminiscent of Thanksgiving—everyone seemed to talk at once and yet no one seemed to lose the thread of the conversation. The food was wonderful, and Nikki flushed with pleasure at the compliments she received.

  After the meal, there was a general slowdown. Cole tried to coax Mary into lying down for a nap. She consented only after everyone obediently promised not to do anything fun while she was gone. She was so obviously humoring her father that it was ail Nikki could do to keep from laughing out loud.

  But she felt a lump in her throat as she watched Cole carry the little girl upstairs. It just didn't seem possible that there could be anything wrong with Mary. She was suddenly quite fiercely proud that Sam had cared deeply enough about his niece that he'd been willing to make a marriage of convenience to ensure that Mary got the help she needed.

  Even if it did leave Nikki with a niggling sense of uncertainty about the future of a marriage that had begun on such a basis.

  By the time Mary got up from her nap and demanded to go in the pool, her uncles had recovered enough from their overindulgences at the table to accommodate her. With the temperature in the mid-seventies and not a cloud in sight, it seemed the perfect way to celebrate the holiday in true Southern California style.

  Nikki, Rachel and Jason chose to remain on dry land, but they did move outside to the comfort of heavily padded redwood loungers, choosing a vantage point where they could watch the antics in the pool without running the risk of being splashed.

  "I want to thank you."

  Nikki took her eyes off the group in the pool and looked at her mother-in-law. Jason had gone into the house, and she and Rachel were more or less alone.

  "Thank me?" Nikki asked. "For what?"

  "For making my son smile again." Rachel's eyes were on the pool, where her sons and granddaughter were all happily attempting to drown each other. "It's been a long time since I've seen Sam so happy."

  "I can't take any credit for that." Nikki shifted uncomfortably on the lounger, her contented mood shaken. She didn't want Rachel thanking her, not when her very presence in the woman's life was based on a lie.

  "I think you can." Rachel's dark eyes settled on Nikki. "I was worried when Sam told me he was getting married so quickly and that he hadn't known you very long," she admitted quietly. "Sam's never been the impulsive type. I think it comes of him feeling that he had to try and take his father's place."

  Rachel smiled a little, remembering. "He grew up so early. I worried about it, but I'll admit there were times when I leaned on him a bit, too. All my boys are strong, but Sam was the eldest and I depended on him, maybe more than I should have."

  "I'm sure he didn't mind." Nikki reached out to touch the older woman's hand, which was restlessly smoothing the cover of the lounge pad. "I think Sam was very lucky to grow up in a family like yours. I think anybody would be," she added a bit wistfully.

  "I think so, too," Rachel admitted. "It's not that I think Sam's life was blighted, but I do think he learned to control any impulsiveness in his nature at a young age. When he married you, it was so unlike him that it worried me."

  If only Rachel knew that she'd had every reason to be worried, Nikki thought. And she still did. "It was rather sudden," she said simply.

  "But obviously, it wasn't too sudden. It's been years since I've seen Sam laugh the way he has this weekend. Not since..."

  "Not since Sara?" Nikki finished the sentence for her.

  "Not since Sara," Rachel confirmed quietly. Her dark eyes were searching. "I thought he might have made a mistake, but you've helped him find the joy in life again and I thank you for that."

  "What are you two looking so serious about?" Jason's voice preceded him as he walked toward them from the direction of the house. He was carrying a tray that held a pitcher of ice tea and a stack of colorful plastic glasses. "You're both much too lovely to be frowning," he chided as he set the tray down.

  Gracious of him to include them both, Nikki thought, especially when he couldn't take his eyes off Rachel. From the delicate flush that rose in the woman's cheeks, Nikki assumed that Rachel had noted—and was not averse to— Jason's distinct partiality.

  As far as Nikki was concerned, the interruption couldn't have been more timely. A few more minutes and she'd probably have been on her knees confessing the truth to Rachel.

  She stared at the pool, picking Sam out easily, feeling something twist inside her when she heard his shout of laughter. For the past couple of weeks, she'd been pretending that everything was as it should be, that her marriage was just like anyone else's. It had taken Rachel's words to remind her of how false that was.

  The dreams she was building were like houses built in an earthquake zone. And she just might find those dreams crashing around her ears.

  Chapter 15

  Sam felt the mattress shift and opened his eyes a crack, watching as Nikki got out of bed. A week ago, he might have grabbed her around the waist and dragged her back into it. But a week ago, he'd have known exactly how she'd react. There'd be a brief, laughing struggle, and it would be at least a half an hour before either of them made it out of bed.

  But this morning he watched her tug on a soft cotton robe and tiptoe from the room without even letting her know he was awake. The soft snick of the door closing behind her sounded almost painfully loud. Sam opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling

  Something had changed. He didn't know what it was, but he could almost see the walls she was building between them. Whatever it was seemed to have begun at Christmas, but, no matter how he racked his brain, he couldn't come up with a reason for it. Nikki had appeared to be enjoying herself. His family liked her. She liked them. As far as he could tell, it had been a terrific holiday.

  But something had obviously happened, because in the week since then, he'd felt Nikki starting to slip away from him. It was a subtle change. She was still sharing his bed, still responsive to his touch, but there was a new element in their lovemaking. He couldn't put his finger on exactly what was different, but he knew it was there. She was holding herself back from him, keeping a little distance.

  Sam swung his legs off the bed and stood. He'd spent too many hours lying awake the night before, trying to figure out what was wrong, and his eyes were gritty from lack of sleep. Naked, he crossed the bedroom and pushed open the bathroom door. He braced his hands on the counter and stared at his reflection, grimly satisfied to see that he looked just like he felt—tired and rumpled.

  He suddenly thought of a conversation he'd had with Keefe late Christmas day.

  "Looks like your marriage of convenience has turned out to be a lot more convenient than you'd expected," Keefe had said, nodding to where Nikki sat cross-legged on the floor, intent on the Lego tower she and Mary were building.

  Gage was offering suggestions on the tower's construction. Normally he charged for this kind of consultation, he'd pointed out. Cole was sprawled in an easy chair, unabashedly asleep. Rachel and Jason were playing a game of gin rummy, and, from the barely audible complaint, she seemed to be beating him quite soundly.

  Sam had directed his look to where Nikki and Mary sat, and his face creased in a smile that said more than words possibly could have. "She likes kids. Did I tell you she runs a day-care center?"

  "Twice." Keefe's tone had been dry, but there was a smile in his eyes.

  "It's worth repeating," Sam had said unrepentantly. He returned his attention to the bottle of wine he was opening, twisting the corkscrew into place.

  "You're in love with her." The words were more comment than question, but Sam answered him, anyway.

  "Very much." Applying steady pressure, he eased the cork from the bottle with a muffled pop. He set the bottle aside to allow the wine to breathe before looking at Keefe. "I wish I could say I was clever as hell and planned it this way."

  "I haven't noticed that planning does much good when it comes to love," Keefe said. From the shadows in his eyes, Sam knew he was thinking of his own marriage an
d subsequent divorce.

  "I thought you and Dana were going to make it," Sam said quietly.

  "Yeah. So did I." Keefe's smile held a bitter edge. He reached for his cigarettes, remembered where he was and let the pack drop back into his pocket. "Lousy habit," he muttered. "One of these days I'm going to have to quit again. Tell her you love her," he said abruptly. He gave Sam an intense look. "Don't wait."

  Sam had muttered something about it being too soon, but Keefe had simply repeated his advice. Maybe Keefe had been right, Sam thought now. Maybe he should tell Nikki how he felt. He'd planned to wait. Married or not, they hadn't known each other very long. It wasn't that he doubted his own feelings, but he didn't want to rush Nikki.

  "Face it, Walker," he said to his reflection. "You're scared to death she doesn't love you. That's the real reason you don't want to tell her how you feel."

  The man in the mirror offered scant reassurance. After a moment, Sam turned away, no closer to an answer than he had been. He pushed open the shower door and turned the water on full blast. His jaw was set as he stepped under the hot spray.

  The only thing he was sure of was that he wasn't going to let Nikki slip away. He didn't know what had caused the change in her. Hell, maybe there was no change. Maybe it was all in his head. But he wasn't going to lose her, not without a fight. He hadn't been able to fight Sara's illness. He'd had to stand by and watch her slip away from him. But that was different. Nikki wasn't dying of cancer. And whatever the problem was, they could solve it.

  Unless he was the only one who wanted it solved.

  ❧

  Everything had just happened too quickly, Nikki thought as she dressed. They'd gone from cordial foes to tentative friends to lovers in a few short weeks. It was too much, too soon. She wasn't ready for this.

  She tugged a soft gold cashmere sweater over her head, tucking it into the waist of a pair of slim black trousers. This wasn't supposed to have happened. It hadn't been part of the plan.

  Nikki stopped, a hairbrush suspended over her head, hearing an echo of Liz's comments about her being too wedded to her plans, about missing out on something wonderful because it wasn't part of her plan. But that wasn't what she was doing.

  Was it?

  She scowled at her reflection and yanked the brush through her hair in a quick, jerky stroke that pulled at her scalp. There was nothing wrong with having plans, nothing wrong with trying to direct your life. People who didn't have plans generally ended up going in circles.

  Look at her mother. Marilee wouldn't know a plan if it slapped her in the face, and she'd spent her entire life drifting from one marriage to another, looking for something she probably wouldn't recognize even if she found it.

  And Alan. Another perfect example of someone who just let life happen to him. He certainly hadn't planned to run through his inheritance the way he had. But because he hadn't planned on doing anything else, that's what had happened. Now he was reduced to trying to steal vases from his own sister. And if he'd done a little planning before attempting to rob her, he might have gotten away with it. But he'd just stumbled into burglary the way he stumbled into everything else in his life, and the result was he'd ended up with nothing. Even committing a decent crime required a plan.

  Nikki brushed her hair back from her face and secured it at the base of her neck with a soft black ribbon. There was nothing wrong with having a plan and nothing wrong with trying to stick to that plan. It wasn't that she was going to walk away entirely from whatever it was she and Sam had together—she just wanted to step back a little. She didn't want to rush into anything.

  She'd planned to get married, not to fall in love. Contrary to what Liz thought, it wasn't that she was so focused on her goal that she couldn't let anything intrude on her plans.

  "I just want to be sure that what I think is happening is really happening and not just some flash-in-the-pan attraction," Nikki told her reflection. "After all, how do I know I'm really in love with Sam? It could be propinquity or animal magnetism or... or practically anything."

  The woman in the mirror looked doubtful. Something in her eyes suggested that she thought Nikki was hiding her head like a scared rabbit, making excuses for her own cowardice.

  "What do you know?" Nikki snapped. "It's my life and I know exactly what I'm doing." She turned away from the mirror, not wanting to see the doubts in her reflection's eyes.

  She picked up her watch and slipped it on. She needed to talk to Sam, needed to try and explain how she felt, how she wanted just a little distance. Though how they were going to manage that when the terms of the will said they had to live in the same house, she didn't know.

  Pushing her feet into a pair of black loafers, she remembered that it was New Year's Eve and Sam had to work. Which meant she could put off talking to him for a little while longer. He'd understand. She knew he would. If he loved her—which he hadn't said he did—he'd understand.

  Nikki left her room and went downstairs. She'd planned to spend the day at the day-care center. If she was lucky, maybe she could grab a quick breakfast and be out of the house before Sam came down.

  The phone rang just as she reached the bottom of the stairs, and she detoured into the living room to answer it.

  "Nikki? It's Alan."

  Nikki's brows rose. After the way Sam had nearly thrown him bodily out of the house, she hadn't expected to hear from her brother this soon, if ever.

  "This is a surprise."

  "I know. I... ah... wanted to see how you were."

  Nikki's brows rose. "You called to ask how I am?"

  "Don't sound so surprised. I am your brother."

  "I am surprised, Alan. After grandfather's funeral, it was a couple of years before I heard from you, and then it was only because Sam caught you stealing from me. This sudden concern for me is a bit unexpected."

  "I wasn't stealing it," he snapped. "And that gorilla you married had no business treating me the way he did. He's lucky I didn't press charges."

  "Seems to me your case would have been a little thin." Nikki didn't trouble to bide the amusement in her voice. "He did catch you breaking into the house. What would you have charged him with?"

  "I don't know. Police brutality, maybe." Alan's tone was sullen, and Nikki could envision the pouty, dissatisfied expression on his face. "I'm sure a good lawyer could have come up with something, but I didn't want to cause any trouble for you."

  "Gee, thanks," she said dryly. "I appreciate the brotherly concern."

  "Well, I am your brother." Her sarcasm seemed to have gone right over his head. "I know we haven't always been close—"

  "Try never."

  "—but that doesn't mean I don't care about you," he persevered, ignoring her interruption. "With Grandfather gone, I am the man of the family—"

  "God help us."

  "—and it's my duty to look after—"

  "Cut to the chase, Alan," Nikki interrupted ruthlessly. "What do you want?"

  There was a short silence on the other end of the line, and she knew that Alan was running through his options, debating whether to stick with the concerned-brother act or to try a new tack.

  "I need money," he muttered sullenly, apparently deciding that honesty was the best policy.

  "You expect me to give you money?" Even knowing him as well as she did, Nikki found it hard to believe his gall.

  "After you tried to steal from me, you turn around and hit me up for a loan?"

  "The money would have been mine if you hadn't gotten married." He made it sound as if she'd committed a crime.

  "But I did get married, and that makes it my money."

  "I was counting on that money."

  "Didn't you ever hear the phrase 'don't count your chickens before they're hatched'? What did you do? Spend money you didn't have?''

  If he thought she was stupid enough to give him money, he had another think coming. Undoubtedly, he was going to try and bully her into giving him what he wanted, the way he'd bullied her when the
y were children, the way he'd bullied his way through life. But she wasn't a child and she wasn't afraid of him anymore. She waited, her jaw tight and angry.

  "I'm in trouble, Nikki." There was no bravado in Alan's voice, no bluster. Just fear, real and startling.

  "What kind of trouble?" Nikki felt her stomach clench.

  "I owe money to some people. I told them I was going to inherit a bunch of money next year, and they were willing to wait. But now that you're married, they know that's not going to happen and they don't want to wait anymore."

  "Gambling?" she asked, her voice softening despite herself.

  "Yeah. I know it was stupid, but I can't go back and change anything now. I know we haven't been close—"

  Nikki's snort of laughter cut him off. Close? They'd barely been civil.

  "How much?"

  He named a figure and she winced.

  "Must have been a hell of a poker game."

  "Roulette," he muttered. "I lost most of it playing roulette."

  "Oh, well, that's different, then. Roulette is much more respectable than poker."

  Alan didn't respond, and she stared blindly out the window, her fingers knotted around the receiver. She couldn't shake the suspicion that he was suckering her, that this sincere act was just that—an act he could put on or take off at will. Maybe he didn't owe any money; maybe he just wanted more money to gamble with.

  But what if he was telling the truth? What if he really did owe a lot of money to people who didn't like to wait. She didn't like him, but she didn't want him to end up at the bottom of a river wearing cement shoes, either.

  "Give me one good reason why I should give you that kind of money."

  "I'm your brother. We're family."

  Nikki closed her eyes. She heard an echo of Sam saying much the same thing about his willingness to do whatever it took to get the money for his niece's surgery. We're family, he'd said, as if that answered all questions. And maybe it did.